So Dena says she's getting hitched to this guy that everybody has suspected was gay from high school. And, just the other day, a friend was telling me how an inebriated "gay Harry" showed up on a heterosexual male's doorstep and came on to him very strongly. Apparently, Harry was chased out of the yard.
That said, my question this weekend was: Do I tell Dena (whom I don't know very well) that her fiance is rumoured to be gay and that she might want to look into that? Or do I mind my own business?
I've opted for the latter. No use putting my nose in business that's not mine. I hope that she gets a clarificationof his sexual orientation in time, or that a close friend will say something.
Reminds me of an old school Calypso song:
Nobody's business, business
Nobody's business, business
Nobody's business
But she own
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7 comments:
Plant an anonymous seed in her head. I think it's something she deserves to have a heads up about. Not necessarily from you. But if you could let her know without knowing it's you that's letting her know.
She would much rather know now than in a few years when she comes home unexpectedly and he's getting busy with his best guy friend.
I totally agree with reasonable happy gal.
anonymous note.
I'd say just leave it alone to be honest. If you're not close to her then she probably won't thanks you for it, more than anythign because you may not be the right person to hear that kind of news from. And besides, who knows whether she actually is aware on some level but is in denial and you telling her will set off a ticking time bomb?
Perhaps if you know any of her closer friends have a subtle word with one of them and see what the situation is, it would be better to come from someone she has more trust in.
Thanks for your feedback. Here's what I think. I've thought about hinting at it to a close girlfriend of hers, but I don't know any of them. I know her only marginally - we see each other once every 3 months or so and we talk about work only. She's very reserved and quiet and because of that, I don't know how many people she has told about the engagement.
So, how do I do the whole anonymous note thing (I don't have her e-mail address - only her phone number)? If you've had experience doing this before, let me know.
Remember, this is a small island AND I don't know how many people know that she's getting hitched, so there's a high probability that she'll link the note to me.
I AM reluctant to do it. But I'm willing to listen.
I wonder if there's a way to slip it in between conversation points. Like say, "You know, I never would've pegged Harry to be the marrying type" or something. There has to be a way...
I've never done an anonymous note/letter.
If you know where she works, maybe you could mail it there.
But whenever I have considered mailing someone something anonymously, I've always thought that I would mail it to my friend in VA, and have her mail it. That way the postmark is not easily tracked to me.
If you try to drop something off in person, you might get caught doing so. And if you do it electronically, your IP address could be tracked if someone was so inclined to find out who you are.
I'm voting on the "leave it alone" side. I trust a woman willing to commit her life to someone to have a better judge of someone's character than rumors floating around. How many of us have heard things attached to our name that we disagree with?!
I'm sure she's heard, come to terms with it in whatever way works for her, and moved on.
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