Monday, January 28, 2008

I spoke to Hank (ex) on Friday night. We talk every few weeks to say hi and usually, I'm okay by the end of the conversation. But there was something about hearing his voice this weekend that put me in a weird place.

I haven't cried over our break-up in over a month. But when I heard John Mayer's "Dreaming with a Broken Heart" on the radio while lying on the beach with my friends, I got misty eyed. I know that I won't get over him easily - a big part of me doesn't want to. A big part of me hopes to rekindle the flame when the time and location finally become right.

::Sigh:: but an even bigger - and more rational - part of me knows that hoping upon hope isn't healthy. I know why I chose to be single. I know that I'm happy being single. But, man, it really hurts when I realize that the best man I ever loved is miles away and will be away, possibly, for eternity.
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3 comments:

RJTrue said...

I hear ya girl ... hope you're doing well. I'm sort of, but not really at all, in the same spot. Have you read my latest blog about advice? Sometimes its hard to do what we need to do over what we want to do ... best of luck!

January 31, 2008 at 2:03 PM
marisa said...

I feel that a couple good crying sessions are pretty necessary after a break up. But I'm glad you remember why you broke up with him. Sometimes it's hard to keep it in to perspective when those lonely moments hit! Good luck...

February 1, 2008 at 3:08 PM
Chevy said...

Thanks for your support ladies! RJTrue, you're right, listening to your own advice isn't always fun. Emma, I'll never forget why I walked away from that relationship. I just need to continue looking ahead instead of craning my neck to look back at what I left behind. I'm not exactly looking to experience emotional whiplash from being yanked in opposite directions. Instead, I am trying to achieve emotional regularity.

February 1, 2008 at 7:54 PM

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