Nice Guys Do Finish Last

He's sweet, charming, affectionate, loves kids, ambitious, in great shape and very likable. But he's facially unattractive. He's not the worst looking man I've ever met but he's also not a guy that I would give a second look in the supermarket. If I hadn't met him in a non-romantic setting and I hadn't had such a great connection with him from the jump, I wouldn't have given him the time of day. We have been out for drinks, we've gone to grab a bite together. He's great company. I love his personality. And I kept telling myself not to be so superficial. Deny your Libra tendencies toward beauty and just give him a chance.

We've kissed. And it's been below par. He's been wanting to jump into the sack but I told him I like to take it slowly (a half-truth). Then I initiated the "this is going nowhere" conversation, "can you handle being friends?" He was game. Yet, he still wants to see me every week. I'm beginning to resent him because I know I'm gonna have to give it to him really straight. I hate doing that! Especially since he seems to be such a sweet guy.

Anyway, I'm talking about L2 from a few posts back. Yeah, I'm terrible at cutting ties completely. He's still in my life - in my eyes, he's strictly in the friends category. In his, I think he's hopeful I'll change my mind...uh sorry.

I can't see myself being intimate with him now or ever. So, I've concluded. No more 'just nice' guys for me. I'm not looking for a Tyson Beckford or a David Beckham type - just someone who gives me that chill down my spine when he walks through the door. L2 just doesn't cut it and sista girl needs to get it on...eventually!!

Coming Soon: The latest on my saga with Best Male Friend Who I Kissed and Then Dissed.

Is It a Crime

Don'cha just hate rollercoaster relationships? The male friend and I had an ugly fight about a week and a half ago that has left us acting awkward around each other and not calling one another.

We, forsook all self-control and ended up having a heavy make-out session one night after he went out with friends. It was everything I imagined it to be...AND more! The boy can kiss!!! But the glow from that experience died when I learned that I was swapping spit with not just him, but some other chick! The next day, a friend of mine tells me that saw my male friend in the club the night before tongue-ing some random chick!

If he had wanted action that night why didn't he take her home instead of calling me to come and "hang out" at his place? When I heard that news I felt so disgusted, dirty and irate.

I basically blasted him out...via text! Ha Ha! I know, I shoulda called...but I just didn't think him worthy of the sound of my voice or my minutes. He called me back, said he was coming over, denied any of that happening, and demanded to know who told me that (I still haven't told him)! I confirmed with my friend that it was indeed him he saw in the club. "Without a doubt" was the reply.

So, after telling my male friend to figure out his confused self before he decides he wants anything from me, we're not really talking. I called him for his b-day...but that's about it.

Still, the truth is: I miss him. AndI can't help thinking of Sade's "Is It a Crime": "Is it a crime that I still want you, and I want you to want me too?"

Ahhh....matters of the heart can be so effed up!