You know the type. "Oh, he's great.He's just got a lot of things going on." Or, "He's been through a lot".
He is the guy with POTENTIAL!
Fundamentally, he's a nice guy who's a little rough around the edges. You two have sat and talked for hours about everything and nothing. He's incrediby fun to be around and there's no pressure to" have your act together" when you're with him. You're equally comfortable hanging out at his place as you would be if he were to take you out to eat (but you soon realize that he doesn't ever do that!)
A guy with potential is whom I've been 'talking' to for the past couple months. We've known each other for a long time and we reconnected on a semi-romantic level just a while ago. He wants to go back to school to finish his degree but (insert a laundry list of excuses here). He will get his act together when (insert another long list). He just needs to complete (abstract reason A, B and C). I briefly entertained the thought, "perhaps we could work if (insert my own laundry list here)."
Then, I got smart. I am 25 years old. No matter how "good" of a guy he is, I am too mature and too wise to be hanging on to a man with potential. I want to be romantically involved with a man that has "potended!" (Yes, I just made up a word! LOL!) I'm not looking for perfection or completeness, just someone who is well on his way to his personal vision - not someone who's hardly getting started.
So, I initiated the "let's just be friends" talk and he completely understood my reasoning behind it. It may sound harsh, but I am too old for projects.
4 comments:
Amen to that! I'm with you all the way. I am no longer in the market for a fixer-upper. I want a man who knows what - and who - he wants.
Yes, and he should know not only what he wants but he should be in the process of pursuing actively when I come into the picture.
It's funny how nothing really is new under the sun. I was in the position he is in about 2-3 years ago when I was in college making excuses for why I couldn't achieve what I wanted. I was in a low, insecure place. And while I empathize with this guy's situation, I'm tired of reminding him to "get up off your a$$ and do something about it, already!" But I also know that I can't make him do it if he's not ready. So, I have removed myself romantically (to avoid let-down) and I will just be a supportive friend from a distance.
Ah, lessons in love!
Hey! Where have you been? Hope everything is OK and you're just too busy enjoying the beach to post ;-)
I LOVE THIS! Such a healthy way of thinking!! There are pah-lenty of men out there who know what they want and are out there to get it. I hate the thought that I'd have to "convince" a guy to date me. Ugh!
#1 thing that attracts me: Ambition!
Post a Comment