Is It a Crime

Don'cha just hate rollercoaster relationships? The male friend and I had an ugly fight about a week and a half ago that has left us acting awkward around each other and not calling one another.

We, forsook all self-control and ended up having a heavy make-out session one night after he went out with friends. It was everything I imagined it to be...AND more! The boy can kiss!!! But the glow from that experience died when I learned that I was swapping spit with not just him, but some other chick! The next day, a friend of mine tells me that saw my male friend in the club the night before tongue-ing some random chick!

If he had wanted action that night why didn't he take her home instead of calling me to come and "hang out" at his place? When I heard that news I felt so disgusted, dirty and irate.

I basically blasted him out...via text! Ha Ha! I know, I shoulda called...but I just didn't think him worthy of the sound of my voice or my minutes. He called me back, said he was coming over, denied any of that happening, and demanded to know who told me that (I still haven't told him)! I confirmed with my friend that it was indeed him he saw in the club. "Without a doubt" was the reply.

So, after telling my male friend to figure out his confused self before he decides he wants anything from me, we're not really talking. I called him for his b-day...but that's about it.

Still, the truth is: I miss him. AndI can't help thinking of Sade's "Is It a Crime": "Is it a crime that I still want you, and I want you to want me too?"

Ahhh....matters of the heart can be so effed up!