The Latest Scoop on this Single Chick!

WHOA! Has it really been 3 months since my last post?!? Career, the economic downturn (yes, it's affecting the Caribbean too) and my new love interest have been keeping me busy.

Career: I spawned a idea for a new business venture that I'm very excited about! It's in a completely opposite vein from what I'm doing currently and what I studied in university. However, it would enable me to work closely with people (which is something I always want to do.) I won't give much detail about the specifics of but I have decided to embark on my new journey in September of 2010. I will have to go back to school to get my Master's in some type of Business Degree and in one year, return home to start on my plan. I'm so excited!

Economic Downturn: I've SERIOUSLY cut back on spending. What, with a mortgage that eats more than half of my pay-cheque, I am eating out less often; Recycling everything that is recyclable in my home; and Finding creative and affordable ways to enjoy my friends and family.

I haven't bought even ONE piece of clothing since January...a Guiness-worthy record for me!

My New Love Interest: I'm gonna use Timah's name for him, Mr. Wonderful, cause that's exactly what he is: WONDERFUL!. Some people believe in prayer, some don't. I fall under the former category. After going through a really tough break-up at the end of last year, I prayed that I wouldn't have to waste my time with dead-beats anymore, that I'd get better at weeding out bad-characters and identifying someone worthy of my affection.

I'm not saying that Mr. Wonderful is the ONE, but he very well could be! We clicked instantly...INSTANTLY! We have a record of sitting for hours and talking about everything from the first time we wet the bed as kids to our vision for the political future of our island. He's got an infectious smile, a warm, loving personality, a crazy sense of humour and the sweetest disposition toward me! He has made breakfast for me, cooked dinner, waited an hour in the dentist's office when my dental procedure took longer than expected. He pulls down the covers of my bed for me when I've fallen asleep in the couch and carries me to bed and tucks me in. He is absolutely BEAUTIFUL to me!

We became official just 2 weeks ago (he initiated it) and I can't recall the last time I was this happy with someone I was dating. He is so not perfect, but he works well for me and me for him!

I'll let you all know how things are progressing.

Damn, I've missed this whole blog-thing....Great to be back!

1. I was rejected, admittedly, for the 1st time in my life, and it was by a guy whose bones I would have jumped in a hot minute if he had only asked! It was a quick 2 week affair. I found his card, which he had given me about 3 weeks prior but which I had stashed in a fold in my purse because I was in a "relationship" with BMF at the time (I pride myself in being a good girlfriend). Anyway, I call him and we have about 4 really great phone conversations. We run into each other at the club twice and hang out briefly, but we don't actually go on a date because I'm wating for him to ask. Except he never does...What he DOES do however, is call me after a "boring" night at the club, picks me up in his cute sporty convertible and we drive up to a pier and talk for about 4 hours - about everything! Politics, Family, Love, Relationships, Future Goals. It was beautiful. He drops me back home, walks me to my door, gives me a hug goodnight and I melt behind my closed door. I text him the next day about something funny he had said the night before and NADA! He doesn't reply, call, stop - by. NOTHING!

Damn! And he was so sexy! The kind of sexy that makes you wanna forsake all proper upbringing and just do what your body is telling you to do! But, alas, everything happens for a reason. Sucker's probably got some STD I didn't need to be contracting, anyway!

2. BMF was stalking me for a while: drunk-dialing me and cursing me out (ME!? The one who was cheated on!), then calling me, while parked outside my house, to tell me he loves me and misses me. I politely asked him to leave me alone and he complied...for all of 2 1/2 weeks. Last Saturday he sent me 7 texts proclaiming his love for me and now...tonight...I've agreed to meet him somewhere because he "wants to talk to me!" Lawd, help me! What could he possibly have to say for himself? I'm just working up the courage not to cry in front of him or slap him up-side the head. Details will be forthcoming...

3. On another, lighter note: I'm being very actively pursued by a security guard at work. He has a sweet persistence about him. Even though I keep playing the none-too-subtle friend card, he keeps stopping by, calling, doing and saying things to get me to smile. I hadn't given him the time of day before because I don't think about the men I work with - too tricky. He's an average looking guy and incredibly sweet. I enjoy talking to him but I know this won't go anywhere. I've told him that and he claims to be okay with just our conversations. So I'm gonna sit back and enjoy the distraction he provides! Sometimes, a girl needs a reason to smile!

Sigh!

The New Year is here and I'm cautious about what's ahead. You see, I ended 2008 wrapped up in bed, feeling sorry for myself and feeling very, very alone.

I found out that BMF is really not worthy of that acronym Best Male Friend and should probably be called WISC (Wolf in Sheep's Clothing) instead. That bastard was trying to get me to be his girlfriend (even though I had my reservations) while he was running around with at least FOUR other women! Yes, FOUR (that I know of).

I had done some research after things started seeming suspicious and when those suspicions were confirmed, I got that jackass out of my bed and kicked him out of my house on the day after Christmas. He was instructed not to contact me and to forget my address. We have not spoken since.

So, you can imagine how festive my holiday season was! Instead of peace, joy, love I experienced strife, heartbreak and hatred in it's purest form. I purged my life, my house, and my car of any reminders of him and I'm better for it!

I cannot say yet that I don't think about him everyday or that I don't have stupid dreams at night of him and I talking, hugging, even kissing! I promise you, I hate him and I don't want to talk to or see him. But a part of me will never understand why he would do this to me after we had had such a strong platonic connection for almost 14 years. I wasn't some trick he met in the club. He was like family to me, to my family, to my friends. We adored and trusted him.

But, now that the clouds in my mind are steadily vanishing, I see that what happened to me had very little to do with me. I cannot heap his issues or his irresponsibility on my shoulders. His behaviour is HIS responsibility. The only way in which I'm culpable is that I didn't listen to my gut the last time it told me not to get into a serious relationship with him.

So, my friends, the big lesson from 2008 for me was

"Go with your gut! It's an expert at identifying and eliminating the toxins in your life."

Where I've Been

What is it that has had me M.I.A?

A boy (Best Male Friend)

An utter, wrenching, heartbreak.

Then an emotional make-up

And now, we're in the midst of a rocky re-start, trying really hard to make things work.

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Forgive me for my cyber-absence. No internet at my new house (I moved in!!) Will be in touch again soon!

Six Things I Enjoy

Coming home to a really good book and getting so wrapped up in it that a trip to the movies with your best friend pales in comparison (My current literary obssession: Long Walk to Freedom by Nelson Mandela)

Making out to the rumble of thunder outside (I woke up to thunder last night and felt soooo lonely! sigh!)

Buying new panties

Driving over to my brother's house after a long day at work just to see my niece's smile!

Sleeping in late on a Saturday morning and making eggs and oatmeal while dancing in my PJs in the kitchen

Pina coladas

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Thanks for this idea, Emma

Nice Guys Do Finish Last

He's sweet, charming, affectionate, loves kids, ambitious, in great shape and very likable. But he's facially unattractive. He's not the worst looking man I've ever met but he's also not a guy that I would give a second look in the supermarket. If I hadn't met him in a non-romantic setting and I hadn't had such a great connection with him from the jump, I wouldn't have given him the time of day. We have been out for drinks, we've gone to grab a bite together. He's great company. I love his personality. And I kept telling myself not to be so superficial. Deny your Libra tendencies toward beauty and just give him a chance.

We've kissed. And it's been below par. He's been wanting to jump into the sack but I told him I like to take it slowly (a half-truth). Then I initiated the "this is going nowhere" conversation, "can you handle being friends?" He was game. Yet, he still wants to see me every week. I'm beginning to resent him because I know I'm gonna have to give it to him really straight. I hate doing that! Especially since he seems to be such a sweet guy.

Anyway, I'm talking about L2 from a few posts back. Yeah, I'm terrible at cutting ties completely. He's still in my life - in my eyes, he's strictly in the friends category. In his, I think he's hopeful I'll change my mind...uh sorry.

I can't see myself being intimate with him now or ever. So, I've concluded. No more 'just nice' guys for me. I'm not looking for a Tyson Beckford or a David Beckham type - just someone who gives me that chill down my spine when he walks through the door. L2 just doesn't cut it and sista girl needs to get it on...eventually!!

Coming Soon: The latest on my saga with Best Male Friend Who I Kissed and Then Dissed.

Is It a Crime

Don'cha just hate rollercoaster relationships? The male friend and I had an ugly fight about a week and a half ago that has left us acting awkward around each other and not calling one another.

We, forsook all self-control and ended up having a heavy make-out session one night after he went out with friends. It was everything I imagined it to be...AND more! The boy can kiss!!! But the glow from that experience died when I learned that I was swapping spit with not just him, but some other chick! The next day, a friend of mine tells me that saw my male friend in the club the night before tongue-ing some random chick!

If he had wanted action that night why didn't he take her home instead of calling me to come and "hang out" at his place? When I heard that news I felt so disgusted, dirty and irate.

I basically blasted him out...via text! Ha Ha! I know, I shoulda called...but I just didn't think him worthy of the sound of my voice or my minutes. He called me back, said he was coming over, denied any of that happening, and demanded to know who told me that (I still haven't told him)! I confirmed with my friend that it was indeed him he saw in the club. "Without a doubt" was the reply.

So, after telling my male friend to figure out his confused self before he decides he wants anything from me, we're not really talking. I called him for his b-day...but that's about it.

Still, the truth is: I miss him. AndI can't help thinking of Sade's "Is It a Crime": "Is it a crime that I still want you, and I want you to want me too?"

Ahhh....matters of the heart can be so effed up!