tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-65931368912937058192024-03-20T15:15:10.144-05:00a single scoopThe musings of a 20-something chick living on an island in the middle of the Caribbean sea.Chevyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17625420392824604591noreply@blogger.comBlogger67125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6593136891293705819.post-63926852809449150592009-05-23T09:44:00.004-05:002009-05-23T10:09:49.662-05:00The Latest Scoop on this Single Chick!<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGvPVivG5xM0EwzG6S7f63on3FsYI53HYeej1h0jou0UbJx9r1GWNK5A4SDQKOUzdbrwu578OTh3E0MnbCjlEqtfdLET8obVN7ffE-OHW3iPMEaWBrWx8TB6rI2Jf22Dzjm-OhpC-JHJg/s1600-h/untitled.bmp"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5339036720992719522" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 138px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 200px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGvPVivG5xM0EwzG6S7f63on3FsYI53HYeej1h0jou0UbJx9r1GWNK5A4SDQKOUzdbrwu578OTh3E0MnbCjlEqtfdLET8obVN7ffE-OHW3iPMEaWBrWx8TB6rI2Jf22Dzjm-OhpC-JHJg/s200/untitled.bmp" border="0" /></a><br /><div>WHOA! Has it really been 3 months since my last post?!? Career, the economic downturn (yes, it's affecting the Caribbean too) and my new love interest have been keeping me busy.</div><br /><div></div><br /><div><strong>Career:</strong> I spawned a idea for a new business venture that I'm very excited about! It's in a completely opposite vein from what I'm doing currently and what I studied in university. However, it would enable me to work closely with people (which is something I always want to do.) I won't give much detail about the specifics of but I have decided to embark on my new journey in September of 2010. I will have to go back to school to get my Master's in some type of Business Degree and in one year, return home to start on my plan. I'm so excited! </div><br /><div></div><br /><div></div><br /><div><strong>Economic Downturn</strong>: I've SERIOUSLY cut back on spending. What, with a mortgage that eats more than half of my pay-cheque, I am eating out less often; Recycling everything that is recyclable in my home; and Finding creative and affordable ways to enjoy my friends and family.</div><br /><div>I haven't bought even ONE piece of clothing since January...a Guiness-worthy record for me!</div><br /><div></div><br /><div></div><br /><div><strong>My New Love Interest</strong>: I'm gonna use Timah's name for him, Mr. Wonderful, cause that's exactly what he is: WONDERFUL!. Some people believe in prayer, some don't. I fall under the former category. After going through a really tough break-up at the end of last year, I prayed that I wouldn't have to waste my time with dead-beats anymore, that I'd get better at weeding out bad-characters and identifying someone worthy of my affection. </div><br /><div>I'm not saying that Mr. Wonderful is the ONE, but he very well could be! We clicked instantly...INSTANTLY! We have a record of sitting for hours and talking about everything from the first time we wet the bed as kids to our vision for the political future of our island. He's got an infectious smile, a warm, loving personality, a crazy sense of humour and the sweetest disposition toward me! He has made breakfast for me, cooked dinner, waited an hour in the dentist's office when my dental procedure took longer than expected. He pulls down the covers of my bed for me when I've fallen asleep in the couch and carries me to bed and tucks me in. He is absolutely BEAUTIFUL to me! </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>We became official just 2 weeks ago (he initiated it) and I can't recall the last time I was this happy with someone I was dating. He is so not perfect, but he works well for me and me for him! </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>I'll let you all know how things are progressing. </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>Damn, I've missed this whole blog-thing....Great to be back! </div><br /><div></div><br /><div></div>Chevyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17625420392824604591noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6593136891293705819.post-80060231692549289022009-02-12T16:00:00.002-05:002009-02-12T16:24:50.931-05:001. I was rejected, admittedly, for the 1st time in my life, and it was by a guy whose bones I would have jumped in a hot minute if he had only asked! It was a quick 2 week affair. I found his card, which he had given me about 3 weeks prior but which I had stashed in a fold in my purse because I was in a "relationship" with BMF at the time (I pride myself in being a good girlfriend). Anyway, I call him and we have about 4 really great phone conversations. We run into each other at the club twice and hang out briefly, but we don't actually go on a date because I'm wating for him to ask. Except he never does...What he DOES do however, is call me after a "boring" night at the club, picks me up in his cute sporty convertible and we drive up to a pier and talk for about 4 hours - about everything! Politics, Family, Love, Relationships, Future Goals. It was beautiful. He drops me back home, walks me to my door, gives me a hug goodnight and I melt behind my closed door. I text him the next day about something funny he had said the night before and NADA! He doesn't reply, call, stop - by. NOTHING!<br /><br />Damn! And he was so sexy! The kind of sexy that makes you wanna forsake all proper upbringing and just do what your body is telling you to do! But, alas, everything happens for a reason. Sucker's probably got some STD I didn't need to be contracting, anyway!<br /><br />2. BMF was stalking me for a while: drunk-dialing me and cursing me out (ME!? The one who was cheated on!), then calling me, while parked outside my house, to tell me he loves me and misses me. I politely asked him to leave me alone and he complied...for all of 2 1/2 weeks. Last Saturday he sent me 7 texts proclaiming his love for me and now...tonight...I've agreed to meet him somewhere because he "wants to talk to me!" Lawd, help me! What could he possibly have to say for himself? I'm just working up the courage not to cry in front of him or slap him up-side the head. Details will be forthcoming...<br /><br />3. On another, lighter note: I'm being very actively pursued by a security guard at work. He has a sweet persistence about him. Even though I keep playing the none-too-subtle friend card, he keeps stopping by, calling, doing and saying things to get me to smile. I hadn't given him the time of day before because I don't think about the men I work with - too tricky. He's an average looking guy and incredibly sweet. I enjoy talking to him but I know this won't go anywhere. I've told him that and he claims to be okay with just our conversations. So I'm gonna sit back and enjoy the distraction he provides! Sometimes, a girl needs a reason to smile!Chevyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17625420392824604591noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6593136891293705819.post-6277686826772330672009-01-06T13:30:00.004-05:002009-01-06T13:55:33.757-05:00Sigh!<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKD7BTH8ziuXMlIIKUFC_Tq7Pu5oUoOQi_T3hK-ROA7668kRA-w8l8y-oqgoBLr4ypej795Sshil1u1rmPC6ABUuPrbEGBNhsaT-VsQtyuVAyaWXhUQ1IIKKpiMLNNhkz3mEtowQ54yxg/s1600-h/3ymwsxl.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5288255573270699682" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 200px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 199px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKD7BTH8ziuXMlIIKUFC_Tq7Pu5oUoOQi_T3hK-ROA7668kRA-w8l8y-oqgoBLr4ypej795Sshil1u1rmPC6ABUuPrbEGBNhsaT-VsQtyuVAyaWXhUQ1IIKKpiMLNNhkz3mEtowQ54yxg/s200/3ymwsxl.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div>The New Year is here and I'm cautious about what's ahead. You see, I ended 2008 wrapped up in bed, feeling sorry for myself and feeling very, very alone. </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>I found out that BMF is really not worthy of that acronym Best Male Friend and should probably be called WISC (Wolf in Sheep's Clothing) instead. That bastard was trying to get me to be his girlfriend (even though I had my reservations) while he was running around with at least FOUR other women! Yes, FOUR (that I <em>know</em> of). </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>I had done some research after things started seeming suspicious and when those suspicions were confirmed, I got that jackass out of my bed and kicked him out of my house on the day after Christmas. He was instructed not to contact me and to forget my address. We have not spoken since.</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>So, you can imagine how festive my holiday season was! Instead of peace, joy, love I experienced strife, heartbreak and hatred in it's purest form. I purged my life, my house, and my car of any reminders of him and I'm better for it! </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>I cannot say yet that I don't think about him everyday or that I don't have stupid dreams at night of him and I talking, hugging, even kissing! I promise you, I hate him and I don't want to talk to or see him. But a part of me will never understand why he would do this to me after we had had such a strong platonic connection for almost 14 years. I wasn't some trick he met in the club. He was like family to me, to my family, to my friends. We adored and trusted him. </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>But, now that the clouds in my mind are steadily vanishing, I see that what happened to me had very little <strong>to do with me.</strong> I cannot heap his issues or his irresponsibility on my shoulders. His behaviour is HIS responsibility. The only way in which I'm culpable is that I didn't listen to my gut the last time it told me not to get into a serious relationship with him.</div><br /><div></div><br /><div align="center">So, my friends, the big lesson from 2008 for me was</div><br /><div align="center"></div><br /><div align="center"><span style="color:#ff0000;">"Go with your gut! It's an expert at identifying and eliminating the toxins in your life."</span></div><br /><div align="center"></div><br /><div></div>Chevyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17625420392824604591noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6593136891293705819.post-47055981114650720982008-12-16T11:12:00.002-05:002008-12-16T11:30:28.622-05:00Where I've Been<div align="center">What is it that has had me M.I.A? </div><div align="center"> </div><div align="center">A boy (Best Male Friend)</div><div align="center"> </div><div align="center">An utter, wrenching, heartbreak.</div><div align="center"> </div><div align="center">Then an emotional make-up</div><div align="center"> </div><div align="center">And now, we're in the midst of a rocky re-start, trying really hard to make things work.</div><div align="left"> </div><div align="left">__________________________________</div><div align="left"> </div><div align="left">Forgive me for my cyber-absence. No internet at my new house (I moved in!!) Will be in touch again soon!</div><div align="center"> </div><div align="center"> </div>Chevyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17625420392824604591noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6593136891293705819.post-47456707194024992292008-10-15T19:02:00.003-05:002008-10-15T19:10:24.822-05:00Six Things I Enjoy<p>Coming home to a really good book and getting so wrapped up in it that a trip to the movies with your best friend pales in comparison (My current literary obssession: Long Walk to Freedom by Nelson Mandela)</p><p> </p><p>Making out to the rumble of thunder outside (I woke up to thunder last night and felt soooo lonely! sigh!)</p><p> </p><p>Buying new panties</p><p> </p><p>Driving over to my brother's house after a long day at work just to see my niece's smile!</p><p> </p><p>Sleeping in late on a Saturday morning and making eggs and oatmeal while dancing in my PJs in the kitchen</p><p> </p><p>Pina coladas</p><p> </p><p>+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++</p><p> </p><p>Thanks for this idea, Emma</p>Chevyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17625420392824604591noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6593136891293705819.post-91337642811986447752008-09-27T20:57:00.004-05:002008-09-27T21:16:23.928-05:00Nice Guys Do Finish Last<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKRxs-T5ZE33BW_FfklSUa3F6CfDU9nxwQlgr2LqKoC__z_CaNDg4kYBe6LCdKZBbtJpv3BotZ022lpwevjPqxTRV_UpqE06n6iqwFM9petsTr0dCFX2X_DvS0RlOiJZi9SdBtN-t7AH4/s1600-h/NiceGuy.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5250889733005354866" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKRxs-T5ZE33BW_FfklSUa3F6CfDU9nxwQlgr2LqKoC__z_CaNDg4kYBe6LCdKZBbtJpv3BotZ022lpwevjPqxTRV_UpqE06n6iqwFM9petsTr0dCFX2X_DvS0RlOiJZi9SdBtN-t7AH4/s200/NiceGuy.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div>He's sweet, charming, affectionate, loves kids, ambitious, in great shape and very likable. But he's facially unattractive. He's not the worst looking man I've ever met but he's also not a guy that I would give a second look in the supermarket. If I hadn't met him in a non-romantic setting and I hadn't had such a great connection with him from the jump, I wouldn't have given him the time of day. We have been out for drinks, we've gone to grab a bite together. He's great company. I love his personality. And I kept telling myself not to be so superficial. Deny your Libra tendencies toward beauty and just give him a chance. </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>We've kissed. And it's been below par. He's been wanting to jump into the sack but I told him I like to take it slowly (a half-truth). Then I initiated the "this is going nowhere" conversation, "can you handle being friends?" He was game. Yet, he still wants to see me every week. I'm beginning to resent him because I know I'm gonna have to give it to him really straight. I hate doing that! Especially since he seems to be such a sweet guy. </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>Anyway, I'm talking about L2 from a few posts back. Yeah, I'm terrible at cutting ties completely. He's still in my life - in my eyes, he's strictly in the friends category. In his, I think he's hopeful I'll change my mind...uh sorry. </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>I can't see myself being intimate with him now or ever. So, I've concluded. No more 'just nice' guys for me. I'm not looking for a Tyson Beckford or a David Beckham type - just someone who gives me that chill down my spine when he walks through the door. L2 just doesn't cut it and sista girl needs to get it on...eventually!!</div><br /><div></div><br /><div></div><br /><div></div><br /><div>Coming Soon: The latest on my saga with Best Male Friend Who I Kissed and Then Dissed.</div><br /><div></div><br /><div></div><br /><div></div><br /><div></div>Chevyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17625420392824604591noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6593136891293705819.post-43847545410556730352008-09-07T20:20:00.003-05:002008-09-07T20:37:23.916-05:00Is It a CrimeDon'cha just hate rollercoaster relationships? The male friend and I had an ugly fight about a week and a half ago that has left us acting awkward around each other and not calling one another.<br /><br />We, forsook all self-control and ended up having a heavy make-out session one night after he went out with friends. It was everything I imagined it to be...AND more! The boy can kiss!!! But the glow from that experience died when I learned that I was swapping spit with not just him, but some other chick! The next day, a friend of mine tells me that saw my male friend in the club the night before tongue-ing some random chick!<br /><br />If he had wanted action that night why didn't he take her home instead of calling me to come and "hang out" at his place? When I heard that news I felt so disgusted, dirty and irate.<br /><br />I basically blasted him out...via text! Ha Ha! I know, I shoulda called...but I just didn't think him worthy of the sound of my voice or my minutes. He called me back, said he was coming over, denied any of that happening, and demanded to know who told me that (I still haven't told him)! I confirmed with my friend that it was indeed him he saw in the club. "Without a doubt" was the reply.<br /><br />So, after telling my male friend to figure out his confused self before he decides he wants anything from me, we're not really talking. I called him for his b-day...but that's about it.<br /><br />Still, the truth is: I miss him. AndI can't help thinking of Sade's "Is It a Crime": "Is it a crime that I still want you, and I want you to want me too?"<br /><br />Ahhh....matters of the heart can be so effed up!Chevyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17625420392824604591noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6593136891293705819.post-48650937559458549832008-08-27T21:59:00.003-05:002008-08-27T22:01:58.223-05:00James Blunt knows a thing or two<div align="center"><em>Lesson of the week: </em></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;"><strong>Fall for a guy who tells you're beautiful and not for one who tells you you're sexy.</strong></span></div>Chevyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17625420392824604591noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6593136891293705819.post-21825478441439309612008-08-26T21:25:00.003-05:002008-08-27T22:03:06.197-05:00Tug-of-WarDamn, I didn't know I could spew such hateful words.<br />I was angry!<br />I chose to ignore my filter and everything my mama taught me.<br />I just wanted my words to sting you as hard and as painfully as the news about you did to me. I wanted you to hurt.<br />To wonder why I was so mad.<br />I wanted to feel in control of a situation for which<br />It took months for me to let my guard down<br />I wanted to resume power over myself and my heart.<br /><br />It worked.<br />Now we're both hurting.<br /><br />And no one has won.Chevyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17625420392824604591noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6593136891293705819.post-79984475475473857262008-08-20T23:02:00.003-05:002008-08-20T23:32:33.837-05:00My deaf heart<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNrrDyaLyhokIC2kfRXQDnhQ7vH0EKos-ZpXipSnK4CsU3SVLm-pvl40Q0ZaiMgFhtx4DGQfXwooMo53n2RUJcNIY53L3qSolnypv2uakDFoCtERQTjO5e8hqFU1VAFIlXpf0K71wbOfw/s1600-h/RF5225379.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5236823726338694178" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNrrDyaLyhokIC2kfRXQDnhQ7vH0EKos-ZpXipSnK4CsU3SVLm-pvl40Q0ZaiMgFhtx4DGQfXwooMo53n2RUJcNIY53L3qSolnypv2uakDFoCtERQTjO5e8hqFU1VAFIlXpf0K71wbOfw/s200/RF5225379.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div>"I am trying not to care. I really am"</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>That's the last text I sent to a male 'friend' of mine that I've been denying that I have strong feelings for. He's a great guy, just in a not so healthy period of his life. Frankly, he's miserable living with the consequences of stupid mistakes he made last year (no jail time, but definitely life-altering). </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>I've always had feelings for him. We're really great friends and we hang out on the regular. We know that we are into each other. We've discussed the possibility of us being a couple...just not now! He's got some personal stuff to sort out.</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>We were supposed to hang out tonight - grab an informal bite to eat and get a drink. Nothing fancy - but I almost always look forward to the good time we usually have when we're together. He calls me to say that he has to run an errand and once that's done we can head out. I get dressed in the meantime - jeans and a t-shirt. I wait around my house, checking e-mail, watching commentary on Usain Bolt's races (Go Jamaica!), and I find that I've been waiting for an hour without a call or text. </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>He calls while I'm in the bathroom. I call back. He doesn't answer. Half hour passes. I call again forsaking pride - after all, he's a friend. This is not a date! He answers, says he fell asleep on his couch, didn't even leave home. He asks if I wanna come around to get a drink now? </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>"Uh, no... It's late!"</div><br /><div>"For someone who doesn't have to get up early tomorrow morning, you sure are concerned about the time." (I'm on vacation)</div><br /><div>"I'm not coming. We made plans. I was waiting for a long time. You fell asleep. I'm not leaving my house now."</div><br /><div>"Ok, you wanna try again tomorrow."</div><br /><div>"We'll see..."</div><br /><div>"Why, we'll see? Why not yes?"</div><br /><div>"Because I don't want to be disappointed again."</div><br /><div>"Ok, I'm sorry. I understand!"</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>Why did I have to tell him I was upset before he could apologize for behaviour that, anyone in their right mind would know. is lame? Grrr... Men really are clueless! </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>He texts me 10 minutes later: "I hate that u r upset with me :-(" I secretly melt. I'm trying not to care, I really am. But it's too late. I'm crazy about the boy even though he annoys the hell outta me sometimes. We will probably end up in a relationship one day. But in the meantime, I'm trying not to care so much... it's hard. My heart isn't listening.</div><br /><div></div><br /><div></div>Chevyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17625420392824604591noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6593136891293705819.post-28160565381860438652008-08-10T09:47:00.003-05:002008-08-10T09:56:33.676-05:00Babies on the Mind<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIDqoJ9CkwygCyszkKv3Ned2cYPP6cpR3vnQ55V_qZ-LvIJuAb6ZJbOh5wlAQkOHPs2YykiBATJgT3Kdw0RhCrggbaTFUIDy6MHXECt38IBj7fWR6bGNX48ZhSZCgxN4a6yPY3a7-ccJI/s1600-h/BLACK+BABY+GIRL.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5232902911298146002" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIDqoJ9CkwygCyszkKv3Ned2cYPP6cpR3vnQ55V_qZ-LvIJuAb6ZJbOh5wlAQkOHPs2YykiBATJgT3Kdw0RhCrggbaTFUIDy6MHXECt38IBj7fWR6bGNX48ZhSZCgxN4a6yPY3a7-ccJI/s200/BLACK+BABY+GIRL.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div>Not that you're even remotely interested, but here's my ever evolving list of baby names for when I find my husband and start making babies ...tee hee!<br /><br /><strong></strong></div><div><strong></strong> </div><div><strong></strong> </div><div><strong></strong> </div><div><strong>Girls</strong><br />1. Noemie / Naomi<br />2. Isabella<br />3. Adriana<br />4. Nnena<br /><br /><strong>Boys</strong><br />1. Adrian<br />2. Damian<br />3. Micah<br />4. Jude<br /><br />Thanks for indulging me. I'm off to clean my new house...about 2 weeks away from moving in! YAY!!</div>Chevyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17625420392824604591noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6593136891293705819.post-78196950704586029922008-08-09T20:04:00.005-05:002008-08-10T08:58:21.582-05:00Back-up Mate<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLnmnPXRVi1hYKiOAL4i9ETzRKoQz2OkV-ExO1ha9s2sUaxJeiuMEEsSSVPAmfRfPz7yv69q_eAC6-7RmcGFjHTAGrQdbvnTRF2SAZzBVLycU1XL9619YVNUxV-EbSL8_oXnnmwhKpFR0/s1600-h/cheatingwoman4zm.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5232702053267043522" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLnmnPXRVi1hYKiOAL4i9ETzRKoQz2OkV-ExO1ha9s2sUaxJeiuMEEsSSVPAmfRfPz7yv69q_eAC6-7RmcGFjHTAGrQdbvnTRF2SAZzBVLycU1XL9619YVNUxV-EbSL8_oXnnmwhKpFR0/s200/cheatingwoman4zm.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div><strong>"Open in case of current relationship's demise"</strong> </div><div></div><div>What if life were so sick and twisted that you could place humans in fragile, glass cases - like those surrounding fire extinguishers - and break them should you need a back-up man. Wait a second! In many instances, life IS that sick and twisted! </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>In the latest issue of Psychology today - my new favorite magazine - the article, <em>Love's Plan B </em>explores the human tendency to keep a roster of back-up romantic possibilities, specifically when we are involved in a serious relationship. The "<em>back-up mate is not fling material; it's a man or woman viable as a serious partner in his or her own right</em>." It's the friend or acquaintance of the opposite sex that you would date seriously it you were not already in a relationship. It's the friend that your mind wanders to when your current love nest isn't so lovely. It's your alternative - albeit non-viable - but an alternative nonetheless. According to this article, many of us have this inherent need to always examine the options. Read it here: <a href="http://psychologytoday.com/articles/pto-20080718-000009.html">http://psychologytoday.com/articles/pto-20080718-000009.html</a></div><br /><div></div><br /><div>As a single girl, I'm happy to not be stuck in this position. In retrospect, I must admit that I did sometimes wish for a back-up mate, but that desire occurred only in cases of extreme frustration with my now ex-boyfriend. But while I was in the relationship, I was too devoted to our bond to even seriously pursue (for lack of a better term) a back-up mate. I am what my friends call "tragically monogamous" in relationships. What can I say? I believe in emotional, mental and physical fidelity! Blame my parents who've been happily married for 34 years...not me! (yes, I am being a tad narrow minded)<br /></div><div></div><br /><div>Anyway, what do you make of this "back-up mate" idea? Have you ever had 'back-up mates' while involved in a serious relationship? Did anything ever become of it? </div>Chevyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17625420392824604591noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6593136891293705819.post-84928547655151385982008-08-07T17:00:00.004-05:002008-08-07T17:35:31.139-05:00People Make My World Go Round<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOgLYgXA2QeIV2oGyl18tT3wGEmv7wL_ZfbxZdtMyWb4rgfoNztNLbmePouyfz4Q6gLINyMOVRHFOCvxZ9D_ZQZCVLyF6LOp3Jqe_HIE01x-QMpkjJURe2VA0tPJcO7LyauVfzBTSolWU/s1600-h/college-friends-group-study-400a080607.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5231908061124823570" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOgLYgXA2QeIV2oGyl18tT3wGEmv7wL_ZfbxZdtMyWb4rgfoNztNLbmePouyfz4Q6gLINyMOVRHFOCvxZ9D_ZQZCVLyF6LOp3Jqe_HIE01x-QMpkjJURe2VA0tPJcO7LyauVfzBTSolWU/s200/college-friends-group-study-400a080607.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div>How many personalities are present in your life? Look at your closest friends: Would they all get along if they were forced to live in a studio apartment for a month? If your friends are anything like mine, then the answer is "Hell NO".<br /><br />I have a united nations make-up of friends: Some that are really introspective and deep thinkers. Some that are kinda shallow but terribly sweet. Some that you can party all night long with. Some that I could sit in a coffee shop and talk to for hours on a Friday night.<br /><br />Some of my friends have never met each other. But they've heard of each other. They may never meet, but they've all met me and that's what's most important to me. Narcissistic? Nope, just realistic.<br /><br />Each friend taps into a different part of my being, fulfilling a specific need. They will probably all meet at my wedding or my funeral. This reality doesn't make me a flake. It says that I'm aware that no one person can be everything to me.<br /><br />My dating experiences have been similar. There's Intellectual Guy with whom I could discuss politics endlessly. There's Carnal Guy with whom the times roaming the streets and the times between the sheets were mind-blowing! There's Spiritual Guy with whom I could ponder the greater meaning of life.<br /><br />What's interesting is that with each person I become close to, whether on a platonic or romantic level, I discover more deeply a part of me I did not know existed or that I sub-consciously suppressed. I believe it's important to tap into these hidden parts of myself to come to a greater understanding of who I am...all the while, remaining true to my fundamental self...but sometimes even she can be shaken up by circumstances.<br /><br />Who knows when I'll be able to look in the mirror and completely define myself...frankly, I hope never. My quarter-life crisis has been teaching me to shrug off boxes that I've placed myself in. I'm learning to try and try and try until I find the things that fit.<br /><br />Nevertheless, I am grateful for the people God throws into my path to accompany me along the ride.</div>Chevyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17625420392824604591noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6593136891293705819.post-36379806760228281162008-08-05T22:38:00.004-05:002008-08-05T23:06:18.675-05:00Still Life<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEib8DXdhErP3bqiswpjGWHPA0hAAM99ZYxlbbHSrskqMuPt-yPVbWrl4vb654o2U06jpEsMCc_Bs8tMgrec0krv8oV3g2xpqz_gjz4IA4iECExcBP7iU-NSlpTgBK4KJrxMTViDZvboAPk/s1600-h/22780557.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5231250721028757602" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEib8DXdhErP3bqiswpjGWHPA0hAAM99ZYxlbbHSrskqMuPt-yPVbWrl4vb654o2U06jpEsMCc_Bs8tMgrec0krv8oV3g2xpqz_gjz4IA4iECExcBP7iU-NSlpTgBK4KJrxMTViDZvboAPk/s200/22780557.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div>Do you remember that scene in "What's Love Got to Do With It" where Tina Turner's character chants a Buddhist mantra? She rocks and chants herself into another realm until she seemingly finds inner peace.</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>Well, I'm no Buddhist. Fact is, I was raised in a very conservative Christian home; therefore my morals and values are based on the teachings of Jesus Christ. I'm happy for that because it introduced me to a higher power that I know exists. I feel and see God in nature, in people, in my circumstances. You may believe something different. I respect that.</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>However, as I grow older I question the role of organized religion in the world. I know people of Christian, Hindu, Buddhist, and Muslim faiths that are seemingly equally contented and at peace with themself and the world. They are convicted in their beliefs and they spread their wealth of knowledge and experience with those who are willing to listen. </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>So, my question is where do I fit in amongst all the - sometimes different, yet sometimes very similar - mores that govern these faiths? Do I try on each of them for size in an effort to "reach God" until I find the one that works best? Do I go with what I already know and forget about the rest?</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>Here's what I do believe. Whether or not this falls under the teachings of a particular holy book or that of a prohet matters little to me at this point.</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>I believe in God. That s/he is omnipresent and omniscient. That s/he is found in and a part of every earthly creation but s/he manifests its most profound self through human beings. I am created in the image of God. That s/he created me for a purpose that s/he had in mind for ages. That it is up to me to be still, and receptive and perceptive to his/her calling for me. That I must tap into my heart, my soul, my mind in order to connect to him/her. That I am here on earth to listen, learn and show love. </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>So, I've pledged to dedicate at least 15 minutes of every day to discover and rediscover my creator and subsequently, my purpose. I've even designated a room in my new house as a place of meditation and introspection. I'll let you know how it goes and the challenges and revelations (if any) that I encounter. Wish me luck!</div><br /><div></div><br /><div></div>Chevyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17625420392824604591noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6593136891293705819.post-50663189363643549322008-08-03T22:04:00.004-05:002008-12-11T02:31:47.023-05:00Big Buts<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjB0q0NYgI4qFlmmgDC3ra0WK6fJIIGN-3XhNS60uROn1J9bE_NtLEpJxrgTLU7L2JDF5jArmRDOLaR0t3CTb3PwhppktDykEVv3y6BvD1TPylZUPFhATwr9zh8a4ehzCeUdNwl5_ELjVw/s1600-h/42-18982332.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5230499197573498290" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjB0q0NYgI4qFlmmgDC3ra0WK6fJIIGN-3XhNS60uROn1J9bE_NtLEpJxrgTLU7L2JDF5jArmRDOLaR0t3CTb3PwhppktDykEVv3y6BvD1TPylZUPFhATwr9zh8a4ehzCeUdNwl5_ELjVw/s200/42-18982332.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />There were very BIG 'buts' in the way of L2 and I having anything romantic in the near future (see my previous post). We sussed it out over roasted turkey and mashed taters at lunch on Friday. We decided that in spite of our obvious instant connection, we won't work out long-term. He's very serious about finding a mate - as he should be at this point in his life. I'm very serious about finding myself - as I need to be at this point in my life. So trying to attract intentions of two different poles would be futile. The inevitable, yet amicable, 'let's just be friends' talk occured. We walked away feeling a little awkward - I'm sure he felt it more because he was more transparent with his feelings toward me than mine toward his.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Nevertheless, I'm so grateful for this experience for numerous reasons:<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />1. This was my first mature dating situation since college (kinda builds my confidence, you know?)<br /><br /><br />2. I learned to be transparent even at the risk of hurting someone's feelings (I preserved self before trying to preserve others)<br /><br /><br />3. He reminded me of the importance of meditation and spiritual connections with other people, self, God and the earth (dude is deep).<br /><br /><br />4. He reminded me of the importance of eye-contact (his level of eye-contact takes some getting used to, but I soon learned that you cannot even embellish a story when looking intently into another's eyes - it demands raw honesty)<br /><br /><br />5. Life is too short and too precious to waste my time and anyone else's. It's important to know what I do and don't want and live my life accordingly...unapologetically.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><div align="center"><span style="color:#ff6666;">What's one profound thing you learned from your dating experiences?</span></div><div align="center"><br /></div>Chevyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17625420392824604591noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6593136891293705819.post-27406895247040970872008-07-31T08:49:00.005-05:002008-12-11T02:31:47.595-05:00Dating Differently<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMr5sNP7ykivHmZxtJd_WnSiYvxSRNmLmjvQ2BkmFXKCyZ7ybbfh0puJqfjRsZLLafxrV3E54D0K9qND_3k4K4ulzCXWRl94xfOhv9WNhX5WFmWPawXaomc3FjQzLy4R5rxCgK-6AGZ-w/s1600-h/42-18053248.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5229191874657344338" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMr5sNP7ykivHmZxtJd_WnSiYvxSRNmLmjvQ2BkmFXKCyZ7ybbfh0puJqfjRsZLLafxrV3E54D0K9qND_3k4K4ulzCXWRl94xfOhv9WNhX5WFmWPawXaomc3FjQzLy4R5rxCgK-6AGZ-w/s200/42-18053248.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div>I bow my head, kiss your hands and beg for your forgiveness for I have been delinquent in posting to this blog. I'm sorry ladies and gents! Life has been BEEEZY! </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>I've been working super hard to move into my new house before September...I think I can make it. Take my advice, don't build if you can buy! But then again, I've never bought so I don't know the obstacles that presents...but man, oh man, has building been a headache! I just wanna move out of my parents' house already! Is that too much for a girl to ask?!</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>So, on the dating and love front, here's the latest:</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>1. I've decided to actively seek out different kinds of guys to date. In the past, I've only ever dated black guys, not because of preference but because of fear of the unknown. My sister and I made up our minds to become equal opportunity daters. So, we are checking out new scenes where the crowd is more mixed culturally and ethnically. Why limit myself to one kind of guy when there's a plethora of interesting, fun males out there who, I've discovered, are willing to get to know me on a deeper level! </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>2. I've taken Emma's advice and I've begun dating a guy that doesn't fit my usual dating criteria at all, which usually looks like this: Tall, broad-shouldered, dark skinned, youngish (25-32), about a 6-8 on the looks scale (think the rapper Common or actor Isaiah Washington) New guy, whom I'll call, Latin Lover or L2, is average height, has an average-build has a creamy-olive skin tone, he's 37, and about a 4-5 on the looks scale. Oh but I love that when he laughs his eyes disappear behind his lashes and his smile lines completely transform his face! And that his gaze commands reciprocation!</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>We had an instant connection one day when he came by my house to deliver a product that he sells. We literally sat on my back porch for an hour and talked about his home town, our families, our life here on the island. It was almost natural talking to him. Since then we have gone on 3 really good dates (2 lunches and one afternoon at the beach) filled with great conversation. He's intelligent, confident, funny, talkative, family-oriented, warm and genuine. He wants to get together again this weekend.</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>But here's the catch: He's a bit intense for me. Because he's 37 and never been married and doesn't have kids he's clearly expressed an interest in finding wife material. Also, L2's a self-described "tactile person". Translation: very touchy-feely (a little too much, too early in my opinion). We kissed on the last date. He thought it was amazing; I thought it was so-so. </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>I've explained to him that I'm at a point in my life where I don't want a serious relationship. I'm just looking to get know people and to make great connections with different personalities. I said that I'm not at a place to start thinking about family and marriage, he says he understands and appreciates that. But he still really wants to see me?</div><br /><div></div><br /><div><span style="color:#ff6666;">Does this sound like he's hoping he'll get lucky?</span> <span style="color:#ff6666;">Whaddya think</span>?</div><br /><div></div><br /><div></div><br /><div></div><br /><div>Once again, thanks for being super- patient with me. I'm off to check out what you all have been up to! </div><br /><div></div><br /><div></div><br /><div></div>Chevyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17625420392824604591noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6593136891293705819.post-66269144093046705212008-06-11T20:15:00.004-05:002008-12-11T02:31:47.783-05:00On Potential!<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVB7jY0becOXOl3LccDn7AcgkCVEcO700hZFs4jTtrKs6rwVB1S2CHt4CKaCjiB4tRN-GKY14I11f_LBJlzG0EQokfiiNBPvIXHlv-zVA1ycz_tjx7WpLIiQd9gnchb4dGFDHxDUKHLSU/s1600-h/roll+eyes.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5210805282899572850" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVB7jY0becOXOl3LccDn7AcgkCVEcO700hZFs4jTtrKs6rwVB1S2CHt4CKaCjiB4tRN-GKY14I11f_LBJlzG0EQokfiiNBPvIXHlv-zVA1ycz_tjx7WpLIiQd9gnchb4dGFDHxDUKHLSU/s200/roll+eyes.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div>You know the type. "Oh, he's great.He's just got a lot of things going on." Or, "He's been through a lot".</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>He is the guy with POTENTIAL! </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>Fundamentally, he's a nice guy who's a little rough around the edges. You two have sat and talked for hours about everything and nothing. He's incrediby fun to be around and there's no pressure to" have your act together" when you're with him. You're equally comfortable hanging out at his place as you would be if he were to take you out to eat (but you soon realize that he doesn't ever do that!)</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>A guy with potential is whom I've been 'talking' to for the past couple months. We've known each other for a long time and we reconnected on a semi-romantic level just a while ago. He wants to go back to school to finish his degree but (insert a laundry list of excuses here). He will get his act together when (insert another long list). He just needs to complete (abstract reason A, B and C). I briefly entertained the thought, "perhaps we could work if (insert my own laundry list here)."</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>Then, I got smart. I am 25 years old. No matter how "good" of a guy he is, I am too mature and too wise to be hanging on to a man with <em>potential.</em> I want to be romantically involved with a man that has "potended!" (Yes, I just made up a word! LOL!) I'm not looking for perfection or completeness, just someone who is well on his way to his personal vision - not someone who's hardly getting started. </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>So, I initiated the "let's just be friends" talk and he completely understood my reasoning behind it. It may sound harsh, but I am too old for projects. </div><div> </div><br /><div></div><br /><div></div>Chevyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17625420392824604591noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6593136891293705819.post-71151619754765883022008-04-30T10:54:00.002-05:002008-05-29T17:26:24.626-05:00What I've been up to:<br /><br /><br /><br />You may have noticed that I don't post as often as I used to. Life is hectic. I am bored. I need a diversion.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Life is hectic because I'm coming down to the final stages of building my house and there are soooo many little details to consider! Aagh! Can I just move in already?<br /><br /><br /><br />I am bored because whenever I go out I come back home thinking, "Well, that was a fun time with girl friend X, but geesh, there was absolutely no eye-candy." Chevy wants to get her flirt on with an attractive, well-adjusted guy! Is that too much to ask.<br /><br /><br /><br />I'll say it again: I need a diversion!Chevyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17625420392824604591noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6593136891293705819.post-68669776436424780832008-04-29T14:48:00.006-05:002008-12-11T02:31:48.088-05:0010 Things We Wish Guys Knew<div align="center"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEideRHQkmqPqyIX8X6nij-ybupTQsTLXtN_CkjMtvjRl1uRnQUGe-80GCk-n_S2KzxmwQN4kbwpt_rd8LXp327aixc1B1hYykrY4aIjQCK3t16Wl1W0JX8iqt8cS4-2xZ8TphwVi_e8P1c/s1600-h/42-17401493.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5194762770270647314" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEideRHQkmqPqyIX8X6nij-ybupTQsTLXtN_CkjMtvjRl1uRnQUGe-80GCk-n_S2KzxmwQN4kbwpt_rd8LXp327aixc1B1hYykrY4aIjQCK3t16Wl1W0JX8iqt8cS4-2xZ8TphwVi_e8P1c/s200/42-17401493.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />1. We don't actually like showering in your shower. While it matters little to you, we prefer to stand in our <em>own</em> grime.<br /><br /><br /><br />2. We don't believe you when you say that our flaws are beautiful. If you really meant that, then you wouldn't even acknowledge them as flaws.<br /><br /><br /><br />3. We don't like your flap jack pillows. Just splurge a little to make me feel like I'm not sleeping on a concrete slab.<br /><br /><br /><br />4. We can tell when you don't like our new, funky hairstyle because you glare freakishly into our eyes and never look up past our eyebrows.<br /><br /><br />5. We think your apartment smells a little, but your cute butt makes up for everything! Plus, who wants to date a guy whose house smells like potpourri?<br /><br /><br /><br />6. We HATE when you switch up the rhythm when things are going SO well! (ladies, you know what I mean!)<br /><br /><br /><br />7. We don't think it's cute when you lick our face...no matter how many years we've been dating. Please keep all primitive instincts to yourself!<br /><br /><br /><br />8. We didn't make time in our busy schedule to plunk down on a Tuesday night to watch the LOTR trilogy or to play the latest playstation game. Come over here and rub my feet, dagnabbit! (lol)<br /><br /><br /><br />9. We notice when you've swept the dust bunnies under the sofa in an attempt to make the place clean for us!<br /><br /><br /><br />10. And finally, even with all these less than desirable traits and practices, we're still crazy about you! We know it's equally as frustrating to deal with our quirks.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="color:#ff6666;">So ladies, what have I missed? Or was I wrong altogether?<br /></span><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /></div>Chevyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17625420392824604591noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6593136891293705819.post-53886542117171426742008-04-17T08:39:00.004-05:002008-12-11T02:31:48.293-05:00Other Fish, er Friends, in the Sea<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhv-u3FQfG5GsCRKoulnhZhb9CiMFk5wdvbBH5CT3izaAblRMH7yASz2PBNn9HGuD9IoxYrcf2oRdPZp_Cp0e3QK00vRIYq-ngOkZao-PrOxjRqab-UDlNaRQT7Kgvc9qFckzooHnjQOA4/s1600-h/girls+night.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5190217806369825346" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhv-u3FQfG5GsCRKoulnhZhb9CiMFk5wdvbBH5CT3izaAblRMH7yASz2PBNn9HGuD9IoxYrcf2oRdPZp_Cp0e3QK00vRIYq-ngOkZao-PrOxjRqab-UDlNaRQT7Kgvc9qFckzooHnjQOA4/s200/girls+night.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div>I cannot be your only source of entertainment! I cannot be your only friend! I will not find something for you to do this and every weekend. And I will no longer tolerate your trying to make me feel guilty for not calling you all weekend.</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>That's what I really wanted to say to my friend, but instead I chickened out and ignored a couple of calls or called her back much later when it was 'convenient' for me to listen to her guilt trip me. See, she moved here last year and until we met there were few people that she hung out with. I mean, if you had mangled your hand in a blender and gotten 3 fingers amputated - that's how many acquaintances she had.<br /></div><div></div><br /><div>Granted, life on this rock can get boring and it is hard to meet new people sometime. However, just because we hit it off and we have a lot in common does not mean that I want to spend all my weekends with you. </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>Let me pause for a confession here: My name is Chevy and I have a history of strained relationships with girl friends. I have not had the typical girl friend relationship of gossiping and BFFing since my sophomore year in college. I lke my space, I like my privacy and I don't care to know about anybody else's business unless it's my own. I am the type of girl friend you call up to go get a drink, to accompany you to a staff party when you don't have a date, or that you take to the club when you both want to get your flirt on. Don't be mistakened, I'll drive you to the hospital when you get an appendicitis. I'll bring you soup every day till you get better. I'll listen to your concerns and share some of mine. But I will not allow you to hold it over my head when I decide that I need some space and quiet time. </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>My friend Jen is a great girl. She's funny. She's caring. She's smart. But she's also a little clingy. I admit, ignoring her calls was a mean and cowardly thing to do. For that I have apologized. I needed to 'fess up and tell her that I felt like she was crowding my space. But now, she's found other friends in an exercise class with whom she's going to get drinks and I can't help but feel proud! She's branching out and forsaking her comfort zone. She'll find even more new and interesting people on my little rock to plan weekends with. She'll have less time worrying about me and why I didn't call her on Saturday. All thanks and no thanks to me and my not-so-healthy brand of distancing myself from her. </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>Here's my take on friendships: You cannot expect one person to provide you with all the things you need to feel happy and whole. You have to find your joy and excitement in various people, activities and places. Friendships should never be monogamous. </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>That said, I look forward to hanging out with Jen again and hearing about her newly formed friendships. Even so, I can't help feeling a little guilty about the momentary tension between us - hopefully time and honesty (on my part) will heal that.</div><br /><div></div><br /><div></div>Chevyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17625420392824604591noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6593136891293705819.post-7017279548440014202008-04-10T08:41:00.008-05:002008-04-10T09:11:23.486-05:00Luca, Cyrus, or Aesop...I'll Never KnowIt is lunch time. I am famished. I join the line by the sidewalk kiosk for a chicken wrap behind a tall, tan Mediterranean (good) looking guy dressed in a chef's suit (sans hat). He turns around. I smile and say hi.<br /><br /><div align="center">****Heart. Be. Still.****</div><div align="center"></div><div align="center">He's Mediterranean (weakness #1)</div><div align="center">He can cook...really, really well (weakness #2)</div><div align="center">He has a great accent (weakness #3)</div><div align="center">****************************</div><div align="center"> </div><div align="center"> </div><div align="center"> </div><div align="center"></div><div align="left">He invites me to jump the line ahead of him. I accept wondering if he's gonna check out my butt (please don't be a creep!). He's in the middle of complimenting me on my hair (just got a new haircut, btw) when the wind whips in and blows some papers out of his hand. He goes running after them. I offer to help, but he insists that he's okay. He runs behind the food kiosk searching for the rest of his stash, laughing at himself.</div><div align="left"></div><div align="left">It's my turn to order now. I look around wanting to ask him if he'd like me to order something for him since the line is growing longer by the second. But he has disappeared. I collect my chicken tahini wrap and walk back to my car thinking..."I bet his name was Luca...or something Mediterraneanly sexy like that!"</div><div align="center"></div><div align="left"></div>Chevyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17625420392824604591noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6593136891293705819.post-8750363803774423472008-04-09T13:42:00.007-05:002008-12-11T02:31:48.474-05:00Next to "Chevy" in the Dictionary...<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEik0S1_fjtMVNXgnsKyuQy0Y58xda_5Dqj9HjhIaGANCfSyUpGtNpvOXjtnSsvXbAsdmkb9C_XSAZz93CcrE6-AZ6dxOihYTo-D56Rx11T4AOcLhtN2f9hVtEmEfKsRJQzCGZwj0CN18D4/s1600-h/dictionary.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5187322125239481186" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 123px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 129px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" height="107" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEik0S1_fjtMVNXgnsKyuQy0Y58xda_5Dqj9HjhIaGANCfSyUpGtNpvOXjtnSsvXbAsdmkb9C_XSAZz93CcrE6-AZ6dxOihYTo-D56Rx11T4AOcLhtN2f9hVtEmEfKsRJQzCGZwj0CN18D4/s200/dictionary.jpg" width="114" border="0" /></a><br /><div align="center"><em><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Convivial</span></em></div><br /><div align="center"><em><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Cheerful </span></em></div><br /><div align="center"><em><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Affable</span></em></div><br /><div align="center"><em><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Introverted or Extroverted (depending on the time of month (so says my mom))</span></em></div><br /><div align="center"><em><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Passionate</span></em></div><br /><div align="center"><em><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Caring</span></em></div><br /><div align="center"><em><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Cautious</span></em></div><br /><div align="center"><em><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Reserved</span></em></div><div align="center"><em><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;"></span></em> </div><div align="center"><em><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;"></span></em></div><div align="center"><em><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;">Intimidating (if you don't know me)</span></em></div><div align="center"><em><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;"></span></em> </div><div align="center"><em><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;"></span></em></div><div align="center"><em><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;">Creatively Fashionable</span></em></div><div align="center"> </div><div align="center"><em><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;"></span></em></div><div align="center"><em><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;">Stern</span></em></div><br /><div align="center"><em><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Pensive</span></em></div><br /><div align="center"><em><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Classic</span></em></div><br /><div align="center"><em><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Intelligent</span></em></div><br /><div align="center"><em><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;">Sexy</span></em></div><br /><div align="center"><em><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Well-mannered</span></em></div><br /><div align="center"><em><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Pulchritudinous (had to look that one up)</span></em></div><div align="center"><em><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;"></span></em></div><div align="center"><em><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;">Quiet</span></em></div><br /><div align="center"><em><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Considerate</span></em></div><br /><div align="center"><em><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Honest</span></em></div><br /><div align="center"><em><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Methodical</span></em></div><br /><div></div><br /><div>That is what my close friends and familly came up with when I asked each of them to describe my personality in 5 words.</div><div></div><div>I am quiet and introverted because deep down I'm shy. I'm cheerful because I like to make people feel welcome. But I guess I can be intimidating and stern when I'm placed in situations where people could mistake my cheerful attitude for a weak, impressionable one. I AM methodical and pensive...it's the Libra in me. Got to weigh the pros and the cons and everything in between before I commit to anything (It does get exhausting sometimes). I do have a big heart - always rooting for the underdog.</div><div></div><div>I think they've got me pegged.</div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div align="center"><span style="color:#ff6666;">What would your folks say about you?</span></div>Chevyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17625420392824604591noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6593136891293705819.post-85476443872720490762008-03-31T18:33:00.001-05:002008-03-31T18:33:22.652-05:00I Got My Boobies<div xmlns='http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml'><p><object height='350' width='425'><param value='http://youtube.com/v/GUcXI2BIUOQ' name='movie'/><embed height='350' width='425' type='application/x-shockwave-flash' src='http://youtube.com/v/GUcXI2BIUOQ'/></object></p><p><br /><br />I absolutely love everything about Nina Simone - regal, ecclectic, soulful, vulnerable, smart-ass and tragic. Hope you enjoy this song (Ain't Got No...I Got Life) as much as I do!<br /></p></div>Chevyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17625420392824604591noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6593136891293705819.post-8587528274627799232008-03-31T17:50:00.006-05:002008-12-11T02:31:48.725-05:00Odd One Out<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLlMcw8sA323lnQX2ggtK07QyHSWDFkzLE2-9kXvMxH9GK72_SsV8-yVIAK4GizHZlGpGtLhaUcR2XjIuERgAptan0ZKfFZ29-cIWFEpnbyHtwAKiNYTlxUVJbSKDh1R3FFt3ZWR4P7Sk/s1600-h/1+girl+3+guys.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5184046086936735826" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLlMcw8sA323lnQX2ggtK07QyHSWDFkzLE2-9kXvMxH9GK72_SsV8-yVIAK4GizHZlGpGtLhaUcR2XjIuERgAptan0ZKfFZ29-cIWFEpnbyHtwAKiNYTlxUVJbSKDh1R3FFt3ZWR4P7Sk/s200/1+girl+3+guys.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div>Gotta say<br /><br />- <em><span style="font-family:verdana;">going to the club with Best Male Friend and 2 of his male friends</span></em><br /><em><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span></em><br /><em><span style="font-family:verdana;">- being the only girl in the group</span></em><br /><em><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span></em><br /><em><span style="font-family:verdana;">- and being asked which one is my boyfriend by guys who wanted to dance with me</span></em><br /><em><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span></em><br /><em><span style="font-family:verdana;">- then answering "None of them"</span></em><br /><em><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span></em><br /><em><span style="font-family:verdana;">- and dancing with 3 really cute guys (not all at once, of course)</span></em><br /><em><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span></em><br /><em><span style="font-family:verdana;">- then having BMF check on me to make sure I was 'comfortable'</span></em><br /><em><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span></em><br />was one of the most fun experiences I've had in a long time. And to think I didn't want to be the odd one out!</div>Chevyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17625420392824604591noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6593136891293705819.post-49322488620661204672008-03-29T16:11:00.007-05:002008-12-11T02:31:48.912-05:00Salsa Trumps Heartbreak<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtR4W0kxqd6MxRFzp8SxzHsnUxvp4bKMtIE1Eqxx3PEyE339lFTABIgdgrric0PeCtfDSKdvdqne9skRNUM0j2XtVp6Qxzgy-UqJ6eGb9NSqxU8gGvCeq_KNaRoBi5NQ4eXZFLo09To9k/s1600-h/salsa.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5183284026594439234" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 159px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 121px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" height="166" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtR4W0kxqd6MxRFzp8SxzHsnUxvp4bKMtIE1Eqxx3PEyE339lFTABIgdgrric0PeCtfDSKdvdqne9skRNUM0j2XtVp6Qxzgy-UqJ6eGb9NSqxU8gGvCeq_KNaRoBi5NQ4eXZFLo09To9k/s320/salsa.jpg" width="195" border="0" /></a><br /><div>It was last week Sunday evening just hours after receiving Bobby's email when I got one from long lost Hank. He wrote to say that he had been thinking about me - but that that was all he would say because he didn't want to make things complicated for me. He also asked if he should stop contacting me - and if that would make me feel more comfortable.</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>Some of the thoughts that whirled around in my head as I read it were: "Where the hell have you been?" "How do you write something like that after not replying to the e-mail I sent you 3 weeks before?" "What do you mean by: "make things complicated for me"? "Honey, I'm fine now...I'm all cried out and I feel a lot better for it"</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>Then, a little orange box pops up in the bottom left corner of my screen. "Chevy?" CRAP! I forgot about GMail IMing. It's Hank. He had just sent the e-mail about 5 minutes before and he must have seen my name light up when I signed in. </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>I took a deep breath, and didn't reveal in my writing that I was actually relieved to know that he is still alive. I told myself to let him lead the conversation. I really did feel composed - not at all the way I felt every other time we spoke: hung up on him. I also was not harboring ill feelings towards him. Therefore, I was in a really good position to talk to him.</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>We typed back and forth for about 20 minutes and we established and clarified somethings: He did not have access to e-mail because he was traveling for the past few weeks. He somehow overlooked my e-mail and did not read it. (Sounds fishy, right? But he's never been one to lie to me and he seemed genuinely surprised to learn about the e-mail (which he read while we were talking)) He apologized profusely for not replying. I told him that it didn't matter now because I no longer had the feelings expressed in the e-mail. I had come to accept that we would not be a couple again. I am OK with that. And please stop asking me if I'm seeing anyone else everytime we talk. We signed off by extending sincere wishes of good luck and said we'd talk again another time. I get the feeling it won't be for a long while.</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>It was the closure of all closures! I felt completely liberated. Instead of sitting there ruminating over what was just said and what was not said, I shrugged my shoulders and made my way to the kitchen to obey my craving for corn chips and salsa. </div><br /><div></div><br /><div></div>Chevyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17625420392824604591noreply@blogger.com4