I Got My Boobies

I absolutely love everything about Nina Simone - regal, ecclectic, soulful, vulnerable, smart-ass and tragic. Hope you enjoy this song (Ain't Got No...I Got Life) as much as I do!

Odd One Out

Gotta say

- going to the club with Best Male Friend and 2 of his male friends

- being the only girl in the group

- and being asked which one is my boyfriend by guys who wanted to dance with me

- then answering "None of them"

- and dancing with 3 really cute guys (not all at once, of course)

- then having BMF check on me to make sure I was 'comfortable'

was one of the most fun experiences I've had in a long time. And to think I didn't want to be the odd one out!

Salsa Trumps Heartbreak

It was last week Sunday evening just hours after receiving Bobby's email when I got one from long lost Hank. He wrote to say that he had been thinking about me - but that that was all he would say because he didn't want to make things complicated for me. He also asked if he should stop contacting me - and if that would make me feel more comfortable.

Some of the thoughts that whirled around in my head as I read it were: "Where the hell have you been?" "How do you write something like that after not replying to the e-mail I sent you 3 weeks before?" "What do you mean by: "make things complicated for me"? "Honey, I'm fine now...I'm all cried out and I feel a lot better for it"

Then, a little orange box pops up in the bottom left corner of my screen. "Chevy?" CRAP! I forgot about GMail IMing. It's Hank. He had just sent the e-mail about 5 minutes before and he must have seen my name light up when I signed in.

I took a deep breath, and didn't reveal in my writing that I was actually relieved to know that he is still alive. I told myself to let him lead the conversation. I really did feel composed - not at all the way I felt every other time we spoke: hung up on him. I also was not harboring ill feelings towards him. Therefore, I was in a really good position to talk to him.

We typed back and forth for about 20 minutes and we established and clarified somethings: He did not have access to e-mail because he was traveling for the past few weeks. He somehow overlooked my e-mail and did not read it. (Sounds fishy, right? But he's never been one to lie to me and he seemed genuinely surprised to learn about the e-mail (which he read while we were talking)) He apologized profusely for not replying. I told him that it didn't matter now because I no longer had the feelings expressed in the e-mail. I had come to accept that we would not be a couple again. I am OK with that. And please stop asking me if I'm seeing anyone else everytime we talk. We signed off by extending sincere wishes of good luck and said we'd talk again another time. I get the feeling it won't be for a long while.

It was the closure of all closures! I felt completely liberated. Instead of sitting there ruminating over what was just said and what was not said, I shrugged my shoulders and made my way to the kitchen to obey my craving for corn chips and salsa.

Resurrection of the Exes

It was written in the stars that last weekend would bring lots of communication my way. Finally, my horoscope was right! (Just for the record, I only check my horoscope out of sheer boredom - does anybody out there really believe those things?)

Anyway, it was Easter Sunday (Happy Belated Easter, btw) and I had slept until 11. While lying around in my PJs, I get an e-mail from my ex...but it's not Hank (my most recent ex). It's from the Ex before him. Let's call him Bobby.

Just to preface the contents of his e-mail: Bobby and I "reunited" over the Christmas holidays after about 3 years of successfully avoiding each other. We would e-mail each other occasionally, but even though our relationship ended mutually (that seems to be a trend in my life), I avoided Bobby because I knew he still had strong feelings for me. The moment we broke-up, those feelings stopped being reciprocated. I had entered the relationship with Hank just 3 months afterwards and I didn't want the interference. I was cordial to Bobby, but I always kept correspondence short and sweet. Anyway, when he came around Christmas of '07, we had a really enjoyable time. We ate shrimp, sat outside under the Caribbean sun and caught up. It was only marginally awkward. I was happy to see him.

Back to the e-mail. Bobby writes to wish me a Happy Easter and to apologize for "being a jerk." Whaaaa? He rambles on about how he understands why I avoided him and that he never meant to hurt me. And he hopes that we can be "a part of each other's life in the future" (someone please translate that for me).

I was confused. Bobby was never a jerk; in fact, he was always a little too sweet (his tragic flaw). You know the type: bends over backwards for everyone, incuding his mama. Flashback: We, 18 years old and hormone-crazy, were making out like crazy in my living room, ecstatic because my parents weren't home. His mom then calls my house phone because she needs him to come home pronto to wash the dishes!?? This is Bobby: "Yes, mommy, I'm coming now!" I felt like I had broken up with his entire family when we finally ended the relationship.

Anyway, I reply to Bobby that it's nice to hear from him (which it was) and that I never thought he had jerkish tendencies and I finished it off with an "Of course, we can be friends!" Didn't even touch that future bit. Although he's sweeter than licorice, he's one ex I got over quickly.

Coming up: I heard from Hank! Another reason last weekend was so communicative!

Choices, Choices

If you had only the following 2 options which would you choose:

a.) To marry someone with herpes (a controllable disease that can't be transmitted as long as a condom is always used) who has had about 3-5 sexual partners?

or

b.) To marry someone who has had 80-100 sexual partners with a clean bill of health?

My friend asked me that question just yesterday before she hopped on a plane. On our way to the airport we were discussing the Spitzer case and the Monica Lewinsky case. We resolved to never be the mortified wife that stood under the harsh glare of television camera lights and photography flash. We were not going to "stand by our man" especially when there was evidence to prove that he was unfaithful. But then my friend slapped me upside the head with the questions above. I'm still ruminating...

What do you say?

Closure

I never wanted to be your ex-girlfriend because I saw the way you treated your ex before me and that was not pretty. Now I wish I had her number to apologize on your behalf and to tell her I feel her pain. You're not an easy guy to get over, even though you find it easy to ignore my calls. Just like her, I did nothing wrong. Just like her, I just wanted to remain friends. But you seem incapable of that, so I respect your decision to not communicate with me. I will not write. I will not call. I will tell our friends that I'm doing great until that lie becomes the truth.

I sincerely wish you all the best. Thank you for being my boyfriend once. Thank you for being the only man that I ever truly loved until today. Thank you for the lessons I learned during and after a relationship with you. Thank you for forcing unwelcome closure. You've been most helpful in this journey towards loving myself.

- Chevy

Dana Parish - Not My Problem

For RJ True...